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Dear mom:

I am tired of all this stupid paper you’ve covered your office in. It smells funny, and I am very bored.

I have tried to remind you that I am also very cute,

But you just keep staring at that big square thing on your desk and making clicky noises with your fingers,

Until I can’t even sleep.

I am afraid I had to take drastic measures.

I will give you the new password to your computer after we go for a Very Long Walk, and I get 100 marrow bones.

Also, please don’t forget that I am cute Ever Again.

Your Dog,


Ps: I would like a cat for Christmas this year please.